Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Its Kool, Like schul, it's a Tool it's...

Jewschool!

This is one of the funniest sites I have ever seen on the Web. It seems to be a site for Jews who think they're white. Oh Yeah, I'm gonna be spending a lot of time there. Can't get enough of that funky stuff, especially when it's Glat Kosher!

Something to Cheer You Up!

Here's a look athttp://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article10022.htm"> the future of the US

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Hurricane CINDY!!!!!!!!

In a stunning development which only proves how extensive is the terrorist plot to destroy America , the NOAA is refusing to name the Category 5 hurricane now bearing down on New Orleans by its appropriate appellation, that is, Hurricane Cindy!
Instead, in a spirit of petty retribution they are calling it "Katrina". Thus is a competent, if not Gold Medal, figure skater given her desserts. Give the guy with the bad breath desserts, but give this disaster the moniker it merits!
Let's not abstain from subjecting this abominable atmospheric aberration to the analysis it is so abundantly amenable to. With all the alacrity, yes the very celerity a celebrity among near-apocalyptic abrogations of something or other that begins with "A" should be allocated. Got that?
To begin with, the proximate cause of the storm is the disturbances to the ether due to the treacherous presence of "Camp Cindy" in Crawford, Texas. People in an advanced state of respiration, accompanied by frequent perspiration, results in precipitation and if food spoils in the heat, regurgitation. I mean, dang it, there's a regular Sturm und drang being dragged out, and with a little elision and some imprecision gives you a "danged storm". That much is obvious to the oblivious.
But what is the result? Apart from the slight damage to property and the coiffures of newscasters, it is an established fact a category 5 hurricane is powerful enough to remove the magnetic "support the troops" ribbons from SUVs!
Now we gaze into the abyss of aberrance which, without abeyance, affronts and afears us!
Without those yellow ribbons, the entire effort of our brave centurions may very well collapse! And when we are so close to a complete victory! I mean, can you believe it?
But by the grace of a loving and generous God, whose providence supplies a something for every something-or-other, there is a solution!
EPOXY!
Yup, go out to your Explorer, Excursion, Suburban, Durango, Escalade, what-have-you, you old have-mores, you, mix part A and part B in the proper ratio, and adhere those precious little ribbons to your bodywork in a way which is Cindy-proof! That'll show 'em!
And just think, years from now, when the Iraq war is recognized as the foundation of all our future greatness, you will have proud proof of your perennial prescience, a little piece of history, permanently affixed to the symbol of American can-do know-how you'll show them!
And as far as those phony evacuation orders, well, you know what they're worth! Nope, you'll be staying the course!

Friday, August 26, 2005

Nekkid Pitchers, and a Frank Confession.

Stop me before I...

I was ready to get all snickerty-snarky about "sex-addiction", but when one's domocile is built of sodium silicates...Oh well.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

If You Haven't Done Anything Wrong...Part 2

Russ Baker, a famous columnist, has been pulled into interrogation rooms at airports twice.Or as he puts it , "Sheikh Ras al-Bakr"
And you know what? I'll bet he is commiting a crime by telling us about it!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Today's Household Hint

Here's a helpful hint that may come in handy when you are redecorating:

To remove charts of terrorist connections glued to office walls, use a steam iron. But before you get the oron hot, take a picture of the chart incase it gets ruined. Now, very gently steam the chart, starting at one corner and working down from the top. As the glue softens, gently peel the chart away from the wall. With any luck, and some patience, you should be able to remove the entire chart from the wall in one piece. You'll probably find that the chart is glued at the corners, with a few drops of glue in the center. Good Luck!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

If You Haven't Done Anything Wrong...

Saturday, August 06, 2005

A Calm Colloquy in Kentucky

Is this a first ?
So two fellows at adjacent booths at a "flea market" (gun show?) get to arguing over the Iraq war. The pro-war guy gets a little worked up and shoots the anti-war guy down like a dog. And now everybody is making excuses for the pro-war guy, natch. Not even arrested.
Yup, I thin' this article tells egg-ackly what happened. Eggs-ackly !

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

"Iraqui Deutschmarks?"

First of all, Juan Cole- Informed Comment is one of my favorite sites. Prof. Cole combines a vast knowledge of the Middle East with a committed humanist outlook to write commentary. I've always gotten the feeling from everything he writes that a warm concern for people, all people, is his fundemental tenet.

Some days, when I do my morning reading, or mourning reading if you prefer, I come upon something that seems to encapsulate in a few words the terrible senselessness and waste of the Iraq debacle. This entry at Informed Comment did it today.

Here's the bit that nearly got me to toss my Alpha Bits:

It is certainly true that the Coalition Provisional Authority based its reconstruction plans in Iraq on postwar Germany. They often just had old plans in Germany translated into Iraqi terms. One CPA document, hastily done, talked of the necessity to support the value of "Iraqi deutschmarks."


For this we pay taxes? Before the war started, the State Department assembled a plan for post-war reconstruction, drawing on their knowledge of the area and the conditions. The bush bunch went bananas and threw it out, and we got the CPA. And the present mess.
The lesser of two evils. No, that's not Mr. Kneivel's eponymous male issue, and it's not the guy who rents a club called "The Two Evils". It is most certainly not Mr Abbott's partner in writing musical comedies. Nope. It's the current election in Ohio And I don't mean voting on the type of electricity they will use.


Coffee and stale puns. That's what we have for breakfast arouind Moosehall.

Anna Quindlen hates our Freedoms!

It is always a sad occasion when an American is seduced by the doctrines of Godless Communism. When an American abandons the commitment to the heavenly dispenserated (if dispenserated is the word I want) freedoms of the free market, when an American refuses to lube the palm of the invisible hand of the marketplace, it makes the baby Jesus soil his swaddling sheets and get all colicky and stuff. I'm talking about this article by Anna Quindlen, which advocates a pratically complete government control of the hiring process. Does Ms. Quindlen seriously think that American industry and business can compete if employers are forced to employ employees which are so seriously limited in their capacity they can contribute very little to the bottom line in our top-drawer firms? Huh? Well does she? Worst of all Ms. Quindlen is suggesting that businesses should hire people whose disabilities are not congenital, visiting upon the sons and daughters for the sins of the father, but people whose disabilities are the result of their own decisions. I haven't been so disgusted and alarmed since I discovered the box of cornflakes I poured milk over to comprise my breakfast was stale.