Sunday, July 31, 2005

Blue Angels Crash caused by anonymous Blogger?



I'm trying very hard this morning not to think about Seafair, or even look east from my deck high atop the hills of Bummington. I mean, think of the consequences!
Look, I'll admit it, I don't like the Blue Angels. Oh not the individual pilots or crew involved in the airshow, of course; my station in life does not permit the knowing of any of them. I've never liked the whole idea of military airware as a source of entertainment. The first time I saw those jets streaking across the sky in close formation I thought the US was under attack from a foreign power, and for a moment felt the terror that literally millions around the globe must feel, and with much better reason, when they see fighter jets rushing towards them. And these jets were the wrong color, and without the markings I expect to see on Air Force planes. My only question was whether we were about to be bombed with conventional or nuclear bombs.
Okay, maybe I hold the Blue Angels responsible for supplying my Wife a bit of ammunition for her campaign to get me landscaping our small, hillside lot. "Well, you sure started digging fast enough when those Blue Angels jets frightened you into digging a bomb shelter under my vegetable garden. You sure as hell weren't complaining about your carpal tunnel then, were you, Mooser?" (Such is the gratitude I receive for generously rescuing that guttersnipe from her parents 14 room palazzo and her modeling career and installing her in a luxurious hut constructed of the finest refrigerator boxes available, not to mention allowing her to work double-shifts at the slaughterhouse to support me in a style to which I would like to become accustomed, without ever complaining, not once. But that's sauce for a different goose.)
Anyway, with the small-mindedness typical of liberals, I just can't take pleasure in the sights and sounds which all over the world are a precursor to death and destruction. I mean, you're out there tending the collard greens and carrots, and boom! You're collateral damage.
But since I bear the boys they send up in crates like that no ill-will, I've got to be very mindful of the extrodinary powers granted to liberals to bring down jets, cause casualties, in fact cause wholesale stratergeral and tactilical failure simply by thinking negative thoughts or, heaven forefend, trying to understand the tactics and motivations of those allied against the good'ol US of A. The shoulder fired missile of negativity is not gonna come from this nattering nabob, no sir, no!

244 Comments:

Blogger management said...

mooser,
I too hate the blue angles. I am so glad that I no longer live in Seattle and don't have to endure that yearly attack on my nerves. I followed your link over from atrios and the reason I did is because you are funny. Keep at it. Funny is good.

Now, where are the moose?

August 1, 2005 at 5:43 PM  
Blogger Mooser said...

My dear Mr. Gumchewer- At Moosehall we may be obtuse, we may be right, and some folks say we have a cute blog. We've got all the angles!
Thanks for reading Moosehall, my friend, and I hope I hear from you again.

August 2, 2005 at 9:58 AM  
Anonymous Eurosabra said...

Mooser,

I have seen the Blue Angels, and I have been bombed, though not by the Blue Angels. I agree with you that there is something very disagreeable about something metal flitting across the sky towards one, although the Angels DID have the advantage of being supersonic when they did it, thus enabling me to gaze upon them in silence, at least briefly. I learned, however, from my friends the Egyptians, that MiGs are equally disconcerting, flat on my back on the warm sands by the canal,
grateful for the pathetic fiction of the peace treaty which was undoubtedly all that prevented them from indulging the enmities of a few years before, which they undoubtedly still felt, and expunging me from the universe. Your air mileage may vary...

August 15, 2005 at 12:44 PM  
Blogger Mooser said...

Eurosabra, I am very happy to hear from you at my blog. Thanks so much for writing, and I hope to hear from you often.

August 15, 2005 at 1:27 PM  
Anonymous Sz said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

August 22, 2005 at 4:45 PM  
Blogger Mooser said...

Dear Sz- Your post has been removed, and your IP address has been reported to Homeland Security.
We do not tolerate terrorists at Moosehall or their extremist encouragistes

August 23, 2005 at 7:59 AM  
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Being from Pensacola, and working on the "Ready Room" for the Blues, I have to say I am disappointed to see people say that they HATE the team. Unbelievable. You are a sad lot.

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