Friday, October 15, 2004

Lies! Lies! Lies!

"Questions of responsibility" is an article. What is an article? An article is an A, an R, a T,an I, a C, an L and an E. No one can deny that. But contained within this "article", this article of an "article", are the letters"L" and "I" and "E", and that spell LIE. In addition, by subtracting, one also finds the letters "T", "R", "I", "A", and finally "L". And that spells "trial". No matter what anyone says, the letters spell the same thing whether they are capital or lower-case. So it is obvious: when one puts this "article" on "trial", it is a "lie"! And when I say this, I am adamant! And when I say "adamant" I mean, well,... you know: adamant!

It does no good to say that the facts (and in an act of almost unbecoming mercy, I won't put quotation marks around the word "facts") are all correct, and these facts have been the same facts I have read in so many other "articles" (my patience is not infinite) and in fact, most of the events have taken place during my lifetime, and even if hidden or obscured to some degree have been exposed, and all of these facts (I'm so nice) form a narrative which is consistent. No, it does no good! None! When the great Jewish scholar Mooses Miamombomommades said: "Az di bobe volt gehat beytsim volt zi geven mayn zeyde!" (If my grandmother had testicles, she would be my grandfather!) his brightest stundent, Michel-Micham-Pim-Shemya (who was destined for both future greatness and a sad end rouging and polishing the backs of beetles in a traveling crafts carnival on the outskirts of Crakow) Immediately responded: "Az mir vill schlugen a hunt, gifintmin a schtecken" (If one wants to beat a dog, one finds a stick!) So let us now turn to the "real" "facts". Read the "article", and read these "facts", and the answer will be obvious, if you are not a damned anti-semite who bayonets Jewish babies and kicks Jewish grandmothers in the kishkas before burning down thier houses and stealing everything they posses!

At the time of the Roman conquest of Judea, when the Jewish people were groaning under the Roman sandal, an extrodinary person appeared. Known to some as the "Son of Man" and others as the "Manly Son", he was an extrodinary man, but he was crucified by the palestinians. Later on, the Dark Ages in Europe was a result of the terrroristic actions of Hamas, Hizbollah, and the Palestinian militants. moving right along, the palestinians brought slavery to the New World, causing the Civil War. After their machinations ("machinations) caused World War I, in a final spate of badness bidness the Palestinians caused the death of 6 million Jews in a terriblr episode called the Hamacaust, or the Hizbollahcaust. Finally, recognising the injustice done to the Jews, and swayed by the cloying sweetness of "Fiddler on the Roof", International Institutions gave an inexplicably deserted piece of land to the Jews, who had lived there from time immemorial. Of course as soon as the Jews got it, the Palestinians (now watch this, this is the coup de grace the denoument the proof) the "palestinians" (Hah!) wanted it, and made a deal with Hitler to kill 6 million Jews. And this proves the ineluctable, ineffable, insubstantial, hypothesis: What good is a religion if it doesn't get you something? So ipso facto Judaism's whole raison d'etre is the "Zionist impulse" Listen to the heartrendering strains of the old Jewish folk song:

You put your right foot in,
You put your right foot out,
You put your right foot in,
And you shake it all about!
You do the Hokey-Pokey,
And you turn yourself about!
And that's what it's all about.